Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Wow, its been awhile. A long while. Where have I been? Where have you been? Life is busy. So busy I haven't had the time or the effort to sit and write one single blog. I'm sorry, I know you have been desperately waiting to hear what I have to say about life, relationships, etc.

I will be back, soon, don't give up on me just yet.  I've been busy with work, and life mostly. I have met a 6 year old girl named Faith, thats changed my life. And I'm sure most of you wonder why I have not written about her yet... Its just too big of a story to tell, too great that I cannot find words to tell you. I have written 73 drafts, deleted them all. I promise, I will post about her and our experience, and after that, I do believe I will start to write more often.

Thanks to all who have encouraged me. Its so strange to hear someone say that read this, or say that  they actually like it. I am so flattered! And its because of you all that I keep writing. I know I am not great, I know most the time I sound very elementary, my vocabulary isn't the best, and I have awful spelling, but theres something you find interesting, whatever it is? I still don't know. But thank you, it means a lot to me.

Actually I have had so many encouraging words that....... (drum roll please)...... I have decided to write a book. No, I am not kidding. And yes I know the book will probably never see a publisher, or whatever you do with a book. But I thought it might be a nice way to pass the time. And who knows, I just might become the next Greg Behrendt (author of He's Not That Into You), and I'll have you guys to thank!! Its a book about dating, I already have my title picked out and everything :) But I'm really excited and have already started working on chapter one. At the rate my blog is going, looks like it might take me over 100 years, but I promise, I will be on chapter five before I die. No but really, if you have any suggestions, anything you'd like to see in the book, any topics inparticular, shoot me an email at leeprissy@yahoo.com

And again, I promise to start writing again soon, so be on the look out!


Thursday, April 1, 2010

What is beauty?

What is the true definition of beauty? Can it really be defined? Webster defines beauty as the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit; a particularly graceful, ornamental, or excellent quality; : a brilliant, extreme, or egregious example or instance. The thesaurus suggests: loveliness, attractiveness, good looks, prettiness, exquisiteness, gorgeousness, splendor, or magnificence.

Is beauty only skin deep? Not necessarily, I believe beauty goes far beyond looks and physical appearance. Beauty can describe someone’s inner being, their personality, their passion or their love for others. Beauty is happiness that shines from your heart displaying for the world to see. Beauty appears in the laughter of a child, a grin from a person passing by, or tears of joy. Beauty comes from within. It comes from a heart filled with love and joy, so much that it overflows.

Modern standards of beauty are often measured by your outer appearance. Money is spent to buy the clothes in high hopes it will make them beautiful, that it will cover the flaws or show off flawless features. Others may purchase magazines, or books to look at celebrities’ beauty. Some go to much extreme desiring beauty, even put themselves in harmful situations. People spend thousands of dollars each year to go under the knife to cut, nip and tuck; exchanging their bodies for the world’s perception of beauty. Some put on tightly fitted pantyhose to firm their stomachs and thighs. We pluck, and wax, and shave away unwanted hair from our eye brows, arm pits, legs, etc. Several inject chemicals to defy gravity and freeze the skin to hide the wrinkles and fine lines. Some will even withhold from eating, or make themselves vomit, eager to be a certain weight or size.

Our generation of women love to paint themselves beautiful. We paint our nails and toe nails, getting pedicures and manicures each week. We paint our hair, highlighting or dyeing, trying to find the perfect color, never to show our roots. We paint our body, in tanning beds, and spray on tans, to get that bronze, back from the beach look. We paint our face each morning with tons of make-up, hiding the blemishes and imperfections.

It is often said that “beauty lies in the eye of its beholder.” Meaning, what you consider beautiful may be the opposite to someone else. You may see beauty that comes from within, and others may not have gotten the chance to see that. It might be that a reflection determines if they find themselves beautiful or not.

Often when people drink, and get a little too drunk beauty lies in the eyes of the BEERholder. Alcohol can make someone look more beautiful physically than what they really are, which often leads to problems later on.

If you fill your life with joy, happiness, love, kindness, calmness, laughter, honesty, compassion, self-control, humor, patients, and friendliness you will be the true definition of beauty. Physical beauty will fade, but your inner being will remain and you can choose whether it’s beautiful. Beauty will always shine though those layers of skin and transfer to a smile, and you will truly be beautiful.

Monday, March 22, 2010

This is orginally a song by Joe and Theresa Mazza, I just wrote it in story format to get a better picture:

What if God came down as many? He held your hand. He took you out for lunch, for dinner, then to breakfast and you reminisced all day about the way things used to be, telling Him stories so that He could see that you are not that way today and He just looked at you to say “When can I see you again? When can I come around again so we can walk and talk all day? When can I see you again?”

What if God called you to say “Can we go out again today?” and you begin to say “That’s fine, but let me tell you I’m not the kind of girl you think I am, but I could try and start again, I’ll put the old woman away,” but Jesus stopped you just to say “Hey, when can I see you again?”

What if God knocked on your door to give you everything and more? Would you refuse to hear him say “I want to see you again. I want to come around again so we can walk and talk all day. I want to see again.”

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Now what?

Have you ever been lost? Completely lost. Didn't know where to go. You knew where you wanted to end up but you didn't know which way to go to get there. You are at a crossroad, you don't know whether to turn left, or right, or go straight. It’s confusing. You have no GPS, no roadmap, just you, the road, your car, and the decision of which way to go...

Life is full of crossroads, and there is no roadmap for life. Life does not come with a set of directions, maps, or even a compass.

When we come to these forks in the road, when we are faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. It’s the “safest” decision because you know the roads you came from. You are familiar with its surroundings. You know which way to go,  because you have traveled those roads for years. It’s comforting to know where you are.

But we are never going to arrive at our destination if we keep turning around, if we keep getting off track, losing direction. Turning around is going to do us no good in the end.

I’m at a crossroad in my life right now. For almost 5 years, I have been completely off track. I’m finally where I want to be, finally headed in the right direction. But now, there are so many options, I don’t know which way to go, I know I SHOULD keep going forward but I don’t know these roads. They seem scary, out of my comfort zone, and new. Mostly, they seem kind of lonely. These are the roads less traveled. I like being back in “that old town,” its where most my friends are, it’s where I feel welcomed, and accepted.

These roads that lie ahead seem like they are going to have many intersections, defining moments, will I take the right road? Will it lead me to my destination? Or will it just take me around in circles, and I’ll end up where I came from.

I want to move forward, onto big and BETTER things. I want God to lead me in the right direction, I might get sidetracked, stuck, pulled over, speed, site see, run out of gas, and maybe make wrong turns but I’m hoping that my heart will lead me in the right direction. I trust Him. He knows where I’m going, where I’m headed.

Pray that I’ll take the right roads, even if they aren’t the nicest paved roads, even if the road is a little dusty, and kind of bumpy. Pray that I’ll trust him fully. Pray that my eyes and ears will be open so that I see the signs. If the sign is Caution, pray that I take caution. If the sign is yield, pray that I stop and look both ways, making sure it’s okay to turn down that path. If the sign is stop, pray that I make a complete STOP. If the traffic light is yellow, pray I slow down. I want to go through this journey with as little complications as possible.

And mostly pray I stay on track and that I don’t turn around and head back for disaster.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Them: Hiii, my name is ____________. What's your name?

Me: Hey.. nice to meet you ____________. My name is Prissy!

Them: Nice to meet you Chrissy.

Me: No, no, its Prissy.

Them: Huh? Christy?

Me: No (chuckle) like Prissy with a "P" ( Do a prissy motion with my hand. (see photo))

Them: (very confused look) Hmmmm OH Crispy!!


This story happens A LOT. a lot a lot!! Only about 5 or 6 people have called me "Crispy" but EVERYONE that I meet call me Chrissy, or Christy at least once. Its so extremely annoying. I know Prissy is not a common name but its MY name, and when I'm explainin it has a P in it, please don't say Crispy, how many Crispys do you know? That sounds like some nickname off of a VH1 dating show.

Second, will you PLEASE, PLEASE, stop asking if its my real name. No, sadly Prissy is not my real name, it is Priscilla. BUT not one person I know calls me Priscilla. I have never signed my name as Priscilla. I even had a hard time spelling it for  awhile. Also, what does it matter what my real name is? If I introduce myself as Prissy. Call me Prissy. Don't ask questions. Trust me that I know my own name.

And why do you keep asking me if I am "prissy?" (as in: prim, and proper; sassy; stuck up; prudent). No, I am not. Its such an insult. You are using my name in vain. What if I were to ask if you were "bob." or if you're name were to be Fancy, are you "fancy." Its just stupid. You be the judge of whether I am "prissy" or not.

Oh, and this one happens a lot. Oh, hahah, how cute my dog's name is Prissy. Or oh my goodness I am so going to name my cat that, I love it. That is insulting! If your pet is named after me, please keep that to yourself.

Also, yes my name rhymes, and even has the majority of the same letters as the female sex reproduction organ. PLEASE PLEASE do not bring this up. Please do not tell me you thought I said my name was "that." That is probably one of the grossest words on the planet and and the fact that you are associating that word with my name is just degrading.

I am not mad about this, :) I actually think its funny and definitely giving me something to blog about. Thank goodness, because my blogging has been scarce lately! But it does aggrivate me sometimes. Of course you would never know that, I'll smile and repeat until they get it right! When they do, I'll smile, and maybe laugh with them about all the crazy name they thought I said. Its funny. Until it happens 398 times a day. Then it gets old.

With all that said. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE my name! It describes me! Its girly! Its different! As you can tell, I get a lot of attention from it. It starts with a P, and for some reason seems so girlified to me. My fav color is pink, I love to shop, get my hair & nails done, tan, boyyyss, so I think Prissy fits. So I wouldn't trade my name for any other name in the world. EVER. Its amazing. I just want people to start getting it right... :))

Goodnight pretties,

PRISSY Dior Lee (and yes, Dior, IS my middle name.) :)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Okay, so who all is still “friends” with their Ex? I mean, you broke up a little awhile ago but ya’ll are still close. You talk almost every day. You're comfortable with him; you can tell him anything and everything. It’s just “comforting” to have him still there! Even though ya’ll aren’t getting back together, aren’t dating, ya’ll just want to stay friends.

You are dating around, kind of. Maybe you have been looking. But no one seems “good enough.” No one that you are really interested in. No one too exciting.

Don’t judge, but I was watching the Tyra Show the other day. And this seemed to be the topic! They called this “snacking.”

“Snacking” that makes sooooooo much sense! When we do this with our Ex, he is still there! Do you get what I mean by snacking? By talking to your Ex so much, you are just snacking, not really getting a full meal but your stomach is growling a little bit (feeling sort of lonely), so you get a snack.

If we keep snacking we will never find anyone else! We will never be hungry enough for the full meal! We need to stop snacking so much, every single day! We are filling up our tummies with too much junk food, and leaving no room for REAL meals!

Forget what your doctor told you “eat a couple snacks during the day so you won’t eat as much at dinner.” No, this does not apply here. We want to be STARVING when its time to eat.

Now, snacking every once awhile is not so bad. Sometimes you want a snack, but just make sure you are not making this a habit!

Once we stop snacking, we will actually be HUNGRY for dinner. When the time comes, when it’s time to eat, we will be so ready. We will be able to eat our whole plate, as my Mimi calls it, we will have a “happy plate.”

There will be so much room in our stomach’s (in our life), that we can fill it with an amazing dinner, and will even have room for desert. The dinner will leave you completely satisfied.

Mmmmmmmmm, I’m getting hungry just thinking about it! Is it dinner time yet?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I wrote this in a "note" on facebook back in Septemeber 2009, but I thought I would share it with my fellow Bloggers, all 2 of them. At this point in my life, I lost a best friend I had been BEST friends with since the 5th grade (were friends again!), had broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, and had moved back home. Its short and to the point. Enjoy :):

Right now, my life is like a closet. And my closet seriously needs to be cleaned out. There are things that I need to get rid of. Things I need to give away, and things I’ll keep forever. No need to keep things that no longer fit, or things I know I’ll never wear again, things I’ve kept for so long because at one time they fit perfectly. I need to throw out the things I keep for comfort but with time have started to fall apart. There are some things I’ve lost that I wish I hadn’t, and will never get them back again. I’ve out grown out of some things. But its out with the old and in with the new! I am making room in my closet for new and exciting things, and I can’t wait to go shopping!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Blogger's Block

Blogger's Block... Its a horrid thing. I have been staring at the screen for weeks, days, hours, long forevers! I can't write lately. Anything I write suddenly disappears soon after I write it, I hit the backspace key until I am back at square one, staring at a blank white screen with a blinking black line, trying to think of anything interesting to write about.

Maybe this funk will pass. I hope it does. I enjoy writing, well blogging. Maybe soon something fun will happen, worthy of blogging. Until then I shall sit and stare at my laptop hoping some magical words will transfer from my thoughts to my fingers and onto my blog. See you then.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Do you ever wonder about your future... your future husband? The One? What he'll be like? What he'll look like? Where he is "right now"? Does he dream of you? Have you met him or will you meet soon? What are his hopes and dreams?  Does he know God? Does he think about you, as much as you think about him? Will you fall in love at first sight? Will he be able to break down those walls around your heart, the ones you have put up for so long in hopes it would protect you from getting hurt? Will he look into your eyes and know exactly what your thinking? What is he going to be when he "grows up"? What is his family like? Don't you hope they absolutely adore you? Will he be your best friend? Will you give him butterflies?

My future husband consumes my mind each and every day. He's someone I will spend the rest of my life with and he's someone who will understand, respect, and love me forever. Someone who God made specificially for ME! Is that not the weirdest thing? God made someone on this earth for you. A partner. A LIFE partner. Thats just insane to me. Completely blows my mind.

I wonder if I know him, if I've already dated him, or if he is a complete stranger. And if I haven't met him, boy do I hope I look good on the day I do. Ya know what I mean? Like I hope I don't run into him on a quick stop at Walgreens or something (I always look horrible at Walgreens, hair a mess, no makeup, outfit that doesn't match.) When he tells the story of how we met to our kids I want it to be something around "She walked into the room looking absolutely gorgeous." Okay from now on I'm getting fully dressed to go to Walgreens, and everywhere else. :) I just want everything to be "fairy-tale" like. I know it won't, things never end up like I have planned. But thats okay.

I feel like I already know him. No, I don't know the first letter of his name. I don't know where he lives. Neither do I know his hair or eye color. But I do know he is going to be my very best friend. I know he is going to be the most hansome guy I have ever laid eyes on. I know when we're together its going to feel right.

I want him to know everything about me. Everything. So I bought a journal. A journal to write to my future hubby. (<--- my journal in the picture) I am going to write him letters.  But what am I going to say? I have no idea. I guess I'll tell him that I've loved him before I met him. That I will love him when I meet him, and every day after that.. I'll let him know I never stop thinking about him. That I pray for him everyday. I ask God to send me the right man, a man that will lead me, a man who loves Him, a man who will think I'm beautiful regardless of what I look like, a man who always does whats right instead of taking the easy way out, a man after God's own heart, a man that will want to prove to me the definition of forever, a man that will be an amazing father, someone who will provide for us, a leader.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Everything works together to create the "Big Picture". God tells us in the Bible that He has a plan and a purpose for each and everyone of our lifes. Since choosing your partner for marriage is probably the most important decision you make in life, don't you think God has everything to do with who you chose? He cares who you spend the rest of your life with. No doubt!! I believe He is working right now in choosing the perfect match for me. My job is to relax, trust in HIM, and just pray for God to bless me and my future husband.

The more I think about this future mate, the more I care less about going out and trying to meet new guys. I don't feel the need to go on a date every weekend. I know if its not working out with someone, its not working out, why should I try to fix it, I need to move on, sorry you're not the choosen one (wink, mother haha). I no longer have to kiss so many frogs, hoping one day they will magicially turn into a prince. I'm not in a panic state of mind because I don't have a Valentine. I can finally stop the "Next Boyfriend Search", like so many girls my age are doing. I am able to completely relax and trust that God will choose this man for me and I will meet him when He thinks I am ready. Why rush? I am young and I am going to enjoy my youth as much as I can until its my time. I'm going to "chill" and let God do the work for me, don't you think Hes going to do a much greater job?

With this journal, I hope my husband sees how much I truly care about him, maybe even before I knew him. I will give it to him as a present on our wedding day and it'll be something special we can always look back on. Something that kept me sane throughout my journey of single life. Something magical. It will symbolize my passion for a LIFE partner. Love letters to the future, from the past and present.

Friday, January 22, 2010

I was just reading my mom's blog (<--- click there to go to her blog) It'll really make you think. Is that one drunken night with friends worth your life? or someone elses life? do you want to pay, for that night, for the rest of your life? Read her blog, and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Have you ever been in a relationship where one person cares about their partner more than the other? One person is madly in love, and the other one couldn't care less. A relationship where there is one, that would do anything for his/her partner, but their partner would do what they wanted, when they wanted, and didn't care if it hurt the other person.

Usually it’s the guy that distances himself from the girl (I should know). At first it’s all cute, flirty, passionate, gentle, adoring, starry-eyed, and romantic, but then all the sudden it’s like the guy puts up his shield and dodges cupids arrows. Then the girl is sitting there madly in love with the boy, being shot in the heart by every arrow, doing anything, and everything to get his attention and he’s more interested in anything and everything, but “her.”

What is it with relationships like this?

It’s "the game" and I HATE the stupid game. It disgusts me. You know which one I'm talking about, the one where you act like you don't like him, play hard to get, then he likes you, then you have to flirt a little, to let him know you're interested, but don't get too sweet cause then he'll know he’s in control, and you wouldn't want that.. and finally you are in a relationship with this guy but the game doesn't end here, oh noo honey, its only the beginning. Don't call him; let him call you, if you call him, especially more than once, your desperate. But why? You're in a relationship with this guy. Shouldn’t you be able to call him, and tell him you were thinking about him. Nope, again, desperate. And you would NEVER, tell him how you feel, because that would make you too vulnerable, an easy target. It’s just "the game" and you have to follow the rules accordingly or you'll end up heartbroken.

Ahhh I could scream! I absolutely despise this game. It’s like whoever cares less in the relationship has control over the relationship and over the other person. If you care more, then you are seen as the weak one? Tell me how this makes sense? If one person falls in love, and the other one acts like they don't care, then the one that’s in love loses the game? Gameover. Would you like to try again? and same sad story unfolds. What in the world?! So much torture.

And the game has gotten us all messed up, so now when we see a boy who wants nothing to do with us, we fall for him? We try so hard to get him to notice us, we want to be with him. We fall for “works in progress,” guys we think we can fix, dirtbags. But the guy that is sweet and charming, is just pathetic and we actually feel sorry for him? Wanting nothing more than a friendship.

Have you ever wondered why they are called "players?" Because they are "playing" the stupid "game." “Oh, don’t hate the player baby, hate the game.” Ahhhhhhhhh I hate the game, and I hate the player but why do I hate the player, I’m a player in this “game” too I’m just the one losing. Now, that makes me a sore loser.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this. So tonight, as I try my best to fall asleep, I decided to watch a movie. Well, originally I was going to watch P.S. I Love You (an all time favorite of mine), because I have had this odd obsession with Ireland and Irish boys but instead I chose Ghost of Girlfriends Past. This movie describes what I am feeling to a “T”.

Connor Mead (played by the ever so gorgeous, Matthew McConaughey), is a famous photographer, and is the biggest “player” ever. He doesn’t believe in love, and he makes that clear. As I’m watching right now he just stated:

 “Love is a magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end it leaves you weak, dependant and fat”

I think a lot of people believe that nowadays, admitting it or not. Like “love” is some urban myth, like Santa Clause, the Easter bunny, or the tooth fairy. And to be quite honest, with all the lying, cheating, and divorces these days, it looks as though love, in fact, might not existent.

But its not some crazy myth, too many people have it, and not just the couples in movies. It exists in real life. I’ve seen it! I’ve witnessed it! We might have to play the game at first, to get the guy, but that’s just part of dating, or getting a date I should say.. But once we are together, as a couple, in a relationship, we shouldn’t have to keep playing “the games."

We should be able to fall head over heels in love with each other. Care, and LOVE each other, without being scared of looking too vulnerable. Have fun with one another. Be able to call your partner up just to say “hello.” Smile, just because, because “he” makes you happy. Please each other. Surprise one another. BE ROMANTIC. Just have fun.

No more of this, I care less, therefore, I’m winning. I wear the pants in the relationship. I am in control. Connor Mead later says in the movie:

“Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less…”

He’s right. Power does not equal happiness.

It’s scary to put yourself out there. You don’t want to look weak, pathetic, too clingy, or desperate but you have to, in order to find love. You have to take risks! That’s just a part of falling in love. And if you don’t you are taking the chance of being alone for the rest of your life, miserable.

That doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt. I’m sure there will be breakups; you will get your heart broken. It will cause you much pain.

“but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love. And from someone who’s felt a lot of both trust me, pain BEATS regret everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. Don’t run away. Don’t do it.” – Conor Mead, Ghost of Girlfriends Past

So take a risk. Fall in love. Find "the One," make your own "love story," live "Happily Ever After."

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Well, it was about 1:30am, Monday night (or Tuesday morning if you wanna be technical).. I was trying my best to fall asleep because I had a job interview the next day. Buuttt of course, I could not fall asleep. I tried everything, counting sheep (had to stop because I got to wondering why we count sheep, then why do we count sheep and not pigs, or horses, or fish), tried clearing my mind and relaxing (but then I was just thinking about what I needed to clear out, that didn't work), I heard if you drank a glass of warm milk you'll fall asleep, so I drank some milk (well, cold milk because I think warm milk is just gross, then turned on my heated blanket and tried heating up the milk in my stomach... FAIL). I thought I was never going to fall asleep.

My sister always listens to music before she goes to bed, so I didn't think it would hurt to put my ipod on shuffle and listen a bit, in hopes it would drift me off to dreamland. Well that definitely didn't work. Music is my therapy. I love listening to the words of songs. Lyrics are just beautiful. No matter what kind of day I am having there is the perfect song to describe how I am feeling. I love it! So every song I listened to, I started thinking of times in my life where the song fit.

First song was "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood, and regardless of if anyone cheated, the song fires me up and I get a sudden urge to bash in the windows of a cheater, so I quickly changed the song. The next was, "Red High Heels" by Kellie Pickler, man, I couldn't tell you how many times I have played this song after a break up, getting ready to go out with your girls, looking your absolute best, hoping you see "him" to show him what he is missing.  NEXT, "That's Not My Name" by the Ting Tings, uhhh this could possibly be the song of my life, EVERY single time I introduce myself its.. "Hi, my name is Prissy," I get "ohh Chrissy?," "Christy," "Sissy," or my all time favorite "Chrissy...?" Me: "No Prissy (make a prissy hand gesture, bring my arm up to my chest and flick my wrist) like with a P" The stupid idiot: "Ohhh ChrisPy" I have got that same conversation AT LEAST 7 times. Seriously? Really? Yes.. people are that dumb. THATS NOT MY NAME was made for me..

Well the next song, I have always sang, and knew all the words, because its a Taylor Swift song, of course I know the song.. but I have never actually listened to the words.. and I thought this song was the perfect song to describe how I am feeling right now:

"A Place In This World" by Taylor Swift

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do

I don't know what I want. Really? What am I living for? What am I going to do with my life? I still have no idea. I would like to think I want a sucessful career in fashion, and I do. But I still don't know what I want to do in fashion? I am "just walking" down this road of life. I don't know where I am heading just walking. Hoping I am heading in the right direction. Not really sure. Kind of lost. In desperate need of some kind of GPS for life. But if I had one, I don't even know what I would type in for the destination.

I was in the interview (the one I was trying to go to sleep early for), and the lady asked me "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I know she was looking for me to reply with "I see myself done with college, with a sucessful career, looking to get married.. blah blah blah you know, the cliche thing everyone says..." but I didn't. After she asked I laughed and said "uhh, well honestly. I don't know. Its always changing, I don't know where I see myself. Ya know, I don't know where I'll be tomorrow." and neither does she, to be honest! We can't see into our future. We can't predict where we will be. We can only say where we hope to be and try going in that direction, but no one really knows. Needless to say, that was the wrong answer, it was probably waaay to deep for her, I probably freaked her out, and most likely won't get the job, oh well.

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world

I AM alone. Yes, I have my family and friends, but I am alone to figure out what I want in life. No one is going to tell me where to go, what path to go down, and if they do I won't listen, I am going to have to figure that out that on my own. I am going to be strong. I have learned a lot in my 232 months on this earth (and yeah, I used a calculator to figure that out). I have made mistakes, and I'll make plenty more but I've learned from them and I've become a better person because of it.

But when it comes down to it... "I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world."

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve

Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine
Could you tell me what more do I need
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah
But that's ok

I am newly single. And yet I still hurt for this boy, I love him. But I have to move on, and maybe we'll end up together one day when we're more mature and ready to settle, who knows. But if its with him or someone new, I am wearing my heart on my sleeve, I am going to be vulnerable, I am not giving up. I want to fall in love again, I want to make someone happy, and vice versa. I might get hurt, again, but "it'll be worth it, when this all comes to an end, when I'll find my Prince, my darling, my friend." (quoting from my mother's poem, "Looking For One's Prince")

Tomorrow is a mystery, see I told you. Even T. Swift confirms it for me. :) it is though, I have no idea what tormorrow will bring. If it be a good day, bad, lucky, sad, who knows?

Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission
But I'm ready to fly

I am on a mission. On a mission, to live this life God has given me, to the fullest. I am going to quit hanging on to the handrails of life. I'm gonna let go. I am going to fly and enjoy wherever this life may take me. Joe Lewis, an English Billionaire, once said "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." I want to make my life count, I want to be remembered. We DO only live once, once CAN be enough. Now, I just gotta figure out how to do it right....

Sunday, January 10, 2010

     “I have NOTHING to wear!!!!” I said to myself as I was looking through my closet this morning. I mean NOTHING! I was already late for church, and I was going to miss the entire sermon if I didn’t hurry up. So I throw on my black jeans (my last resort, if I have nothing else to wear), a grey shirt (that used to be a dress but shrunk over the years), and a leather jacket, well at least the leather jacket was in style. Thank goodness, me and my little sister, Sabrina, we’re going shopping today, because I am in desperate need of some new clothes…

     Well, I went shopping bought a couple of new things, probably never wear half of them, maybe once, or twice. But as I write this, I am looking at my closet. My closet is FULL. I bought a new pair of shoes today but I couldn’t even fit them in there, I had to rearrange and adjust everything, just to find a place for them. And THEN… I had to go ask dad for some hangers, for my new stuff, because I had used all mine.

     Maybe I do have a lot of clothes. A lot of shoes. A lot of STUFF. I should probably rephrase that statement, “I DO have something to wear”, all my clothes have just gone out of style, or are out of season. So I need some new clothes to keep me up to date, “in STYLE.”

     I mean it’s so hard to always look trendy. Unique. Stylish. Fashionable. Like, you get all excited about your new coat, or shirt but you better wear it soon, because before you know it, it will be out of style. Then you will have to go shopping all over again, and again, and it keeps repeating. It’s a never ending cycle of SPENDING and shopping. And it never ever, ever, ever, stops. Well for me, I want to be in the fashion business, when I grow up ;), and so all this really excites me but I’m sure if it wasn’t what I wanted to do, it would really make me mad.

     So do YOU ever wish you had one outfit that never went out of style? Just one, that no matter where you went, what time of year, or what occasion, you looked absolutely stunning in. An outfit that was guaranteed to win you the “Best Dressed” award every year. The perfect outfit that would catch your crushes eye, and knock him off his feet. Something you could wear and look your absolute best. Well what if I told you that you already have it…

     You already own “that perfect outfit.” You’ll see what I mean in these verses (Colossians 3:12-14): “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience….. and love (which pulls the whole outfit together, just like the perfect pair of shoes).” This outfit should be worn every day. It IS the outfit you will look your best in, it's the outfit that will put all your other clothes to shame, it’s the outfit everyone will be jealous of, and mostly this outfit will never go out of style!!

Thursday, January 7, 2010


It was a low key day. Alabama was suppose to dismantle Auburn .

Their Heisman candidate had a national stage to take center spotlight. But something unexpected happened.

Our tailgate was a fun morning. We hosted many Bama friends who came by. The food was fabulous, the music was toe tapping, and the weather was perfect.

We went to our traditional "Tiger Walk" and cheered the team and coaches into the stadium- like gladiators into their arena knowing a hungry undefeated opponent was on the other side pacing and suiting up for a David and Goliath moment. But something unexpected happened.

The sea of orange filled the sun kissed stadium. Every seat was filled. Our Eagle, Tiger, flew around the tops of our heads and landed midfield The teams entered to thunderous applause, fanfare and frenzied fans.

Bama fans wore stickers that said " Fear the shutout". But something unexpected happened.

Auburn, fueled by the fans and faith of spirit with hard work, threw everything they had at Alabama .

And for 58 minutes Auburn prevailed. The score, the stats, the noise, the pride- For 58 minutes we owned it. But something unexpected happened.

Alabama put together a successful last minute drive and scored the go ahead points. The TV announcers loved the battle for ratings. No one in the stadium moved. But something unexpected happened.

The Alabama fans stayed and "sabaned" their victory. Their band played. Their victory ended a perfect scheduled season. But something unexpected happen.

What possibly could be wrong? The Bama fans had suffered, sweated, cursed, paced and prayed for 58 torturous minutes and their team finally pulled it out and won. But what they saw next was not suppose to happen...either.

The Auburn family stayed. They were suppose to flee in defeat but alas the opposite happened. We stayed in our seats and waited for our team to walk off the field. 80,000 family members escorted them off with thunderous applause and chants of "It's great to be an Auburn Tiger". The recruits stayed and watched this family of ours lift up our team who served up a whole humble pie to #2 Bama.

It reminded me of the scene in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" when the Who's in Whoville gathered after their presents and decorations were missing but lifted their voices loudly anyway to lift up their gratitude and celebrations.

For us it was about thankfulness, honor, and family. For 58 minutes we were fans, but as our team walked off the field for a few minutes we were all one family. It was a great feeling and we had not even won the game...on the scoreboard.

We walked out of the stadium chanting AUBURN cheers down the ramps. Alabama fans were quiet and shocked. Their Heisman candidate was disposed of. Their defense was embarrassed. Their haughtiness was silent.

I have not mentioned the crudeness and ugliness that I witnessed or was a part of from Alabama fans prior and during the game. Their reputation for being rude fans lived on-not pulling for their team and being good fans but being jerks to others- even to children.  (I second that.. saw it happen many times, one time to a 86 yr old man)

However after the game they were silent. Eerily quiet. One would have thought they lost the game. The lack of the cries of "Roll Tide" was noticeably absent. But something happened.

Auburn continued to make us proud, played their hearts out, made idiots out of the sports announcers who proclaimed earlier this was a waste to play, and silenced the visiting fans.

Yes, something happened. Auburn won everything but the scoreboard. This was not suppose to happen!!! Alabama was not suppose to allow this!! It was just Auburn for goodness sakes, right??


Not a perfect day but an AUsome day. And with already picking up some of the top recruits in the nation (#8 class in the nation), a new coaching staff that have eyes of the tiger, and an AU family ready to support them all, we only have one question- when does the 2010 season start?

Wow. What an amazing description of what it felt like to be an Auburn tiger that day. I am SO proud to be apart of this AUsome family! Win or Lose, we love and support our team! I am writing this right after I just watched the National Championship.. Alabama Crimson Tide won the title.. Yes congratulations.. I actually attended the University of Alabama and have pulled for them a couple of times. But I am beginning to dislike Alabama more and more.. I went to that Iron Bowl, after the game it was "Take that Auburn fans," "Hahaha Auburn fans," they didn't celebrate their win, instead celebrated our loss? I went to the SEC Championship, I was pulling for Florida, not because I am an Auburn fan but because my whole family was cheering for Florida and cheer for Florida every year... Another win, Another title for Alabama and what were people saying? "Hahahahahah, we made Tebow cry" and every picture posted on facebook was of Tebow in tears, when it should've been of the scoreboard. Be happy for your team. And now that they won the National Championship they saying (and I am quoting exact statements from these fans) "HA Auburn fans, Florida fans, We did it, What now?," "Glad we can shut these Auburn fans up, RTR," Really?? REALLY? Congraduations, be happy.  YA'LL WON THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. Celebrate! But it shouldn't be haha in your face. I know there is those kind of fans from every team. But lets really try and be happy for our own team! WAR EAGLE! I am so happy to be apart of the SEC (which just won a national championship)! And I cannot wait for another AUsome season '10!!!!