Thursday, February 4, 2010
My future husband consumes my mind each and every day. He's someone I will spend the rest of my life with and he's someone who will understand, respect, and love me forever. Someone who God made specificially for ME! Is that not the weirdest thing? God made someone on this earth for you. A partner. A LIFE partner. Thats just insane to me. Completely blows my mind.
I wonder if I know him, if I've already dated him, or if he is a complete stranger. And if I haven't met him, boy do I hope I look good on the day I do. Ya know what I mean? Like I hope I don't run into him on a quick stop at Walgreens or something (I always look horrible at Walgreens, hair a mess, no makeup, outfit that doesn't match.) When he tells the story of how we met to our kids I want it to be something around "She walked into the room looking absolutely gorgeous." Okay from now on I'm getting fully dressed to go to Walgreens, and everywhere else. :) I just want everything to be "fairy-tale" like. I know it won't, things never end up like I have planned. But thats okay.
I feel like I already know him. No, I don't know the first letter of his name. I don't know where he lives. Neither do I know his hair or eye color. But I do know he is going to be my very best friend. I know he is going to be the most hansome guy I have ever laid eyes on. I know when we're together its going to feel right.
I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Everything works together to create the "Big Picture". God tells us in the Bible that He has a plan and a purpose for each and everyone of our lifes. Since choosing your partner for marriage is probably the most important decision you make in life, don't you think God has everything to do with who you chose? He cares who you spend the rest of your life with. No doubt!! I believe He is working right now in choosing the perfect match for me. My job is to relax, trust in HIM, and just pray for God to bless me and my future husband.
The more I think about this future mate, the more I care less about going out and trying to meet new guys. I don't feel the need to go on a date every weekend. I know if its not working out with someone, its not working out, why should I try to fix it, I need to move on, sorry you're not the choosen one (wink, mother haha). I no longer have to kiss so many frogs, hoping one day they will magicially turn into a prince. I'm not in a panic state of mind because I don't have a Valentine. I can finally stop the "Next Boyfriend Search", like so many girls my age are doing. I am able to completely relax and trust that God will choose this man for me and I will meet him when He thinks I am ready. Why rush? I am young and I am going to enjoy my youth as much as I can until its my time. I'm going to "chill" and let God do the work for me, don't you think Hes going to do a much greater job?
With this journal, I hope my husband sees how much I truly care about him, maybe even before I knew him. I will give it to him as a present on our wedding day and it'll be something special we can always look back on. Something that kept me sane throughout my journey of single life. Something magical. It will symbolize my passion for a LIFE partner. Love letters to the future, from the past and present.