Friday, January 22, 2010
I was just reading my mom's blog (<--- click there to go to her blog) It'll really make you think. Is that one drunken night with friends worth your life? or someone elses life? do you want to pay, for that night, for the rest of your life? Read her blog, and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Usually it’s the guy that distances himself from the girl (I should know). At first it’s all cute, flirty, passionate, gentle, adoring, starry-eyed, and romantic, but then all the sudden it’s like the guy puts up his shield and dodges cupids arrows. Then the girl is sitting there madly in love with the boy, being shot in the heart by every arrow, doing anything, and everything to get his attention and he’s more interested in anything and everything, but “her.”
What is it with relationships like this?
It’s "the game" and I HATE the stupid game. It disgusts me. You know which one I'm talking about, the one where you act like you don't like him, play hard to get, then he likes you, then you have to flirt a little, to let him know you're interested, but don't get too sweet cause then he'll know he’s in control, and you wouldn't want that.. and finally you are in a relationship with this guy but the game doesn't end here, oh noo honey, its only the beginning. Don't call him; let him call you, if you call him, especially more than once, your desperate. But why? You're in a relationship with this guy. Shouldn’t you be able to call him, and tell him you were thinking about him. Nope, again, desperate. And you would NEVER, tell him how you feel, because that would make you too vulnerable, an easy target. It’s just "the game" and you have to follow the rules accordingly or you'll end up heartbroken.
Ahhh I could scream! I absolutely despise this game. It’s like whoever cares less in the relationship has control over the relationship and over the other person. If you care more, then you are seen as the weak one? Tell me how this makes sense? If one person falls in love, and the other one acts like they don't care, then the one that’s in love loses the game? Gameover. Would you like to try again? and same sad story unfolds. What in the world?! So much torture.
And the game has gotten us all messed up, so now when we see a boy who wants nothing to do with us, we fall for him? We try so hard to get him to notice us, we want to be with him. We fall for “works in progress,” guys we think we can fix, dirtbags. But the guy that is sweet and charming, is just pathetic and we actually feel sorry for him? Wanting nothing more than a friendship.
Have you ever wondered why they are called "players?" Because they are "playing" the stupid "game." “Oh, don’t hate the player baby, hate the game.” Ahhhhhhhhh I hate the game, and I hate the player but why do I hate the player, I’m a player in this “game” too I’m just the one losing. Now, that makes me a sore loser.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this. So tonight, as I try my best to fall asleep, I decided to watch a movie. Well, originally I was going to watch P.S. I Love You (an all time favorite of mine), because I have had this odd obsession with Ireland and Irish boys but instead I chose Ghost of Girlfriends Past. This movie describes what I am feeling to a “T”.
Connor Mead (played by the ever so gorgeous, Matthew McConaughey), is a famous photographer, and is the biggest “player” ever. He doesn’t believe in love, and he makes that clear. As I’m watching right now he just stated:
“Love is a magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end it leaves you weak, dependant and fat”
I think a lot of people believe that nowadays, admitting it or not. Like “love” is some urban myth, like Santa Clause, the Easter bunny, or the tooth fairy. And to be quite honest, with all the lying, cheating, and divorces these days, it looks as though love, in fact, might not existent.
But its not some crazy myth, too many people have it, and not just the couples in movies. It exists in real life. I’ve seen it! I’ve witnessed it! We might have to play the game at first, to get the guy, but that’s just part of dating, or getting a date I should say.. But once we are together, as a couple, in a relationship, we shouldn’t have to keep playing “the games."
We should be able to fall head over heels in love with each other. Care, and LOVE each other, without being scared of looking too vulnerable. Have fun with one another. Be able to call your partner up just to say “hello.” Smile, just because, because “he” makes you happy. Please each other. Surprise one another. BE ROMANTIC. Just have fun.
No more of this, I care less, therefore, I’m winning. I wear the pants in the relationship. I am in control. Connor Mead later says in the movie:
“Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less…”
He’s right. Power does not equal happiness.
It’s scary to put yourself out there. You don’t want to look weak, pathetic, too clingy, or desperate but you have to, in order to find love. You have to take risks! That’s just a part of falling in love. And if you don’t you are taking the chance of being alone for the rest of your life, miserable.
That doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt. I’m sure there will be breakups; you will get your heart broken. It will cause you much pain.
“but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love. And from someone who’s felt a lot of both trust me, pain BEATS regret everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. Don’t run away. Don’t do it.” – Conor Mead, Ghost of Girlfriends Past
So take a risk. Fall in love. Find "the One," make your own "love story," live "Happily Ever After."
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Well, it was about 1:30am, Monday night (or Tuesday morning if you wanna be technical).. I was trying my best to fall asleep because I had a job interview the next day. Buuttt of course, I could not fall asleep. I tried everything, counting sheep (had to stop because I got to wondering why we count sheep, then why do we count sheep and not pigs, or horses, or fish), tried clearing my mind and relaxing (but then I was just thinking about what I needed to clear out, that didn't work), I heard if you drank a glass of warm milk you'll fall asleep, so I drank some milk (well, cold milk because I think warm milk is just gross, then turned on my heated blanket and tried heating up the milk in my stomach... FAIL). I thought I was never going to fall asleep.
My sister always listens to music before she goes to bed, so I didn't think it would hurt to put my ipod on shuffle and listen a bit, in hopes it would drift me off to dreamland. Well that definitely didn't work. Music is my therapy. I love listening to the words of songs. Lyrics are just beautiful. No matter what kind of day I am having there is the perfect song to describe how I am feeling. I love it! So every song I listened to, I started thinking of times in my life where the song fit.
First song was "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood, and regardless of if anyone cheated, the song fires me up and I get a sudden urge to bash in the windows of a cheater, so I quickly changed the song. The next was, "Red High Heels" by Kellie Pickler, man, I couldn't tell you how many times I have played this song after a break up, getting ready to go out with your girls, looking your absolute best, hoping you see "him" to show him what he is missing. NEXT, "That's Not My Name" by the Ting Tings, uhhh this could possibly be the song of my life, EVERY single time I introduce myself its.. "Hi, my name is Prissy," I get "ohh Chrissy?," "Christy," "Sissy," or my all time favorite "Chrissy...?" Me: "No Prissy (make a prissy hand gesture, bring my arm up to my chest and flick my wrist) like with a P" The stupid idiot: "Ohhh ChrisPy" I have got that same conversation AT LEAST 7 times. Seriously? Really? Yes.. people are that dumb. THATS NOT MY NAME was made for me..
Well the next song, I have always sang, and knew all the words, because its a Taylor Swift song, of course I know the song.. but I have never actually listened to the words.. and I thought this song was the perfect song to describe how I am feeling right now:
"A Place In This World" by Taylor Swift
I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do
I don't know what I want. Really? What am I living for? What am I going to do with my life? I still have no idea. I would like to think I want a sucessful career in fashion, and I do. But I still don't know what I want to do in fashion? I am "just walking" down this road of life. I don't know where I am heading just walking. Hoping I am heading in the right direction. Not really sure. Kind of lost. In desperate need of some kind of GPS for life. But if I had one, I don't even know what I would type in for the destination.
I was in the interview (the one I was trying to go to sleep early for), and the lady asked me "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I know she was looking for me to reply with "I see myself done with college, with a sucessful career, looking to get married.. blah blah blah you know, the cliche thing everyone says..." but I didn't. After she asked I laughed and said "uhh, well honestly. I don't know. Its always changing, I don't know where I see myself. Ya know, I don't know where I'll be tomorrow." and neither does she, to be honest! We can't see into our future. We can't predict where we will be. We can only say where we hope to be and try going in that direction, but no one really knows. Needless to say, that was the wrong answer, it was probably waaay to deep for her, I probably freaked her out, and most likely won't get the job, oh well.
I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
I AM alone. Yes, I have my family and friends, but I am alone to figure out what I want in life. No one is going to tell me where to go, what path to go down, and if they do I won't listen, I am going to have to figure that out that on my own. I am going to be strong. I have learned a lot in my 232 months on this earth (and yeah, I used a calculator to figure that out). I have made mistakes, and I'll make plenty more but I've learned from them and I've become a better person because of it.
But when it comes down to it... "I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world."
Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine
Could you tell me what more do I need
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah
But that's ok
I am newly single. And yet I still hurt for this boy, I love him. But I have to move on, and maybe we'll end up together one day when we're more mature and ready to settle, who knows. But if its with him or someone new, I am wearing my heart on my sleeve, I am going to be vulnerable, I am not giving up. I want to fall in love again, I want to make someone happy, and vice versa. I might get hurt, again, but "it'll be worth it, when this all comes to an end, when I'll find my Prince, my darling, my friend." (quoting from my mother's poem, "Looking For One's Prince")
Tomorrow is a mystery, see I told you. Even T. Swift confirms it for me. :) it is though, I have no idea what tormorrow will bring. If it be a good day, bad, lucky, sad, who knows?
Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission
But I'm ready to fly
I am on a mission. On a mission, to live this life God has given me, to the fullest. I am going to quit hanging on to the handrails of life. I'm gonna let go. I am going to fly and enjoy wherever this life may take me. Joe Lewis, an English Billionaire, once said "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." I want to make my life count, I want to be remembered. We DO only live once, once CAN be enough. Now, I just gotta figure out how to do it right....
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Well, I went shopping bought a couple of new things, probably never wear half of them, maybe once, or twice. But as I write this, I am looking at my closet. My closet is FULL. I bought a new pair of shoes today but I couldn’t even fit them in there, I had to rearrange and adjust everything, just to find a place for them. And THEN… I had to go ask dad for some hangers, for my new stuff, because I had used all mine.
Maybe I do have a lot of clothes. A lot of shoes. A lot of STUFF. I should probably rephrase that statement, “I DO have something to wear”, all my clothes have just gone out of style, or are out of season. So I need some new clothes to keep me up to date, “in STYLE.”
I mean it’s so hard to always look trendy. Unique. Stylish. Fashionable. Like, you get all excited about your new coat, or shirt but you better wear it soon, because before you know it, it will be out of style. Then you will have to go shopping all over again, and again, and it keeps repeating. It’s a never ending cycle of SPENDING and shopping. And it never ever, ever, ever, stops. Well for me, I want to be in the fashion business, when I grow up ;), and so all this really excites me but I’m sure if it wasn’t what I wanted to do, it would really make me mad.
So do YOU ever wish you had one outfit that never went out of style? Just one, that no matter where you went, what time of year, or what occasion, you looked absolutely stunning in. An outfit that was guaranteed to win you the “Best Dressed” award every year. The perfect outfit that would catch your crushes eye, and knock him off his feet. Something you could wear and look your absolute best. Well what if I told you that you already have it…
You already own “that perfect outfit.” You’ll see what I mean in these verses (Colossians 3:12-14): “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience….. and love (which pulls the whole outfit together, just like the perfect pair of shoes).” This outfit should be worn every day. It IS the outfit you will look your best in, it's the outfit that will put all your other clothes to shame, it’s the outfit everyone will be jealous of, and mostly this outfit will never go out of style!!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
THIS IS SUPOSSEDLY WRITTEN BY ED DYAS....a former AU player.
It was a low key day. Alabama was suppose to dismantle Auburn .
Their Heisman candidate had a national stage to take center spotlight. But something unexpected happened.
Our tailgate was a fun morning. We hosted many Bama friends who came by. The food was fabulous, the music was toe tapping, and the weather was perfect.
We went to our traditional "Tiger Walk" and cheered the team and coaches into the stadium- like gladiators into their arena knowing a hungry undefeated opponent was on the other side pacing and suiting up for a David and Goliath moment. But something unexpected happened.
The sea of orange filled the sun kissed stadium. Every seat was filled. Our Eagle, Tiger, flew around the tops of our heads and landed midfield The teams entered to thunderous applause, fanfare and frenzied fans.
Bama fans wore stickers that said " Fear the shutout". But something unexpected happened.
Auburn, fueled by the fans and faith of spirit with hard work, threw everything they had at Alabama .
And for 58 minutes Auburn prevailed. The score, the stats, the noise, the pride- For 58 minutes we owned it. But something unexpected happened.
Alabama put together a successful last minute drive and scored the go ahead points. The TV announcers loved the battle for ratings. No one in the stadium moved. But something unexpected happened.
The Alabama fans stayed and "sabaned" their victory. Their band played. Their victory ended a perfect scheduled season. But something unexpected happen.
What possibly could be wrong? The Bama fans had suffered, sweated, cursed, paced and prayed for 58 torturous minutes and their team finally pulled it out and won. But what they saw next was not suppose to happen...either.
The Auburn family stayed. They were suppose to flee in defeat but alas the opposite happened. We stayed in our seats and waited for our team to walk off the field. 80,000 family members escorted them off with thunderous applause and chants of "It's great to be an Auburn Tiger". The recruits stayed and watched this family of ours lift up our team who served up a whole humble pie to #2 Bama.
It reminded me of the scene in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" when the Who's in Whoville gathered after their presents and decorations were missing but lifted their voices loudly anyway to lift up their gratitude and celebrations.
For us it was about thankfulness, honor, and family. For 58 minutes we were fans, but as our team walked off the field for a few minutes we were all one family. It was a great feeling and we had not even won the game...on the scoreboard.
We walked out of the stadium chanting AUBURN cheers down the ramps. Alabama fans were quiet and shocked. Their Heisman candidate was disposed of. Their defense was embarrassed. Their haughtiness was silent.
I have not mentioned the crudeness and ugliness that I witnessed or was a part of from Alabama fans prior and during the game. Their reputation for being rude fans lived on-not pulling for their team and being good fans but being jerks to others- even to children. (I second that.. saw it happen many times, one time to a 86 yr old man)
However after the game they were silent. Eerily quiet. One would have thought they lost the game. The lack of the cries of "Roll Tide" was noticeably absent. But something happened.
Auburn continued to make us proud, played their hearts out, made idiots out of the sports announcers who proclaimed earlier this was a waste to play, and silenced the visiting fans.
Yes, something happened. Auburn won everything but the scoreboard. This was not suppose to happen!!! Alabama was not suppose to allow this!! It was just Auburn for goodness sakes, right??
Not a perfect day but an AUsome day. And with already picking up some of the top recruits in the nation (#8 class in the nation), a new coaching staff that have eyes of the tiger, and an AU family ready to support them all, we only have one question- when does the 2010 season start?