Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Have you ever been in a relationship where one person cares about their partner more than the other? One person is madly in love, and the other one couldn't care less. A relationship where there is one, that would do anything for his/her partner, but their partner would do what they wanted, when they wanted, and didn't care if it hurt the other person.
Usually it’s the guy that distances himself from the girl (I should know). At first it’s all cute, flirty, passionate, gentle, adoring, starry-eyed, and romantic, but then all the sudden it’s like the guy puts up his shield and dodges cupids arrows. Then the girl is sitting there madly in love with the boy, being shot in the heart by every arrow, doing anything, and everything to get his attention and he’s more interested in anything and everything, but “her.”
What is it with relationships like this?
It’s "the game" and I HATE the stupid game. It disgusts me. You know which one I'm talking about, the one where you act like you don't like him, play hard to get, then he likes you, then you have to flirt a little, to let him know you're interested, but don't get too sweet cause then he'll know he’s in control, and you wouldn't want that.. and finally you are in a relationship with this guy but the game doesn't end here, oh noo honey, its only the beginning. Don't call him; let him call you, if you call him, especially more than once, your desperate. But why? You're in a relationship with this guy. Shouldn’t you be able to call him, and tell him you were thinking about him. Nope, again, desperate. And you would NEVER, tell him how you feel, because that would make you too vulnerable, an easy target. It’s just "the game" and you have to follow the rules accordingly or you'll end up heartbroken.
Ahhh I could scream! I absolutely despise this game. It’s like whoever cares less in the relationship has control over the relationship and over the other person. If you care more, then you are seen as the weak one? Tell me how this makes sense? If one person falls in love, and the other one acts like they don't care, then the one that’s in love loses the game? Gameover. Would you like to try again? and same sad story unfolds. What in the world?! So much torture.
And the game has gotten us all messed up, so now when we see a boy who wants nothing to do with us, we fall for him? We try so hard to get him to notice us, we want to be with him. We fall for “works in progress,” guys we think we can fix, dirtbags. But the guy that is sweet and charming, is just pathetic and we actually feel sorry for him? Wanting nothing more than a friendship.
Have you ever wondered why they are called "players?" Because they are "playing" the stupid "game." “Oh, don’t hate the player baby, hate the game.” Ahhhhhhhhh I hate the game, and I hate the player but why do I hate the player, I’m a player in this “game” too I’m just the one losing. Now, that makes me a sore loser.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this. So tonight, as I try my best to fall asleep, I decided to watch a movie. Well, originally I was going to watch P.S. I Love You (an all time favorite of mine), because I have had this odd obsession with Ireland and Irish boys but instead I chose Ghost of Girlfriends Past. This movie describes what I am feeling to a “T”.
Connor Mead (played by the ever so gorgeous, Matthew McConaughey), is a famous photographer, and is the biggest “player” ever. He doesn’t believe in love, and he makes that clear. As I’m watching right now he just stated:
“Love is a magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end it leaves you weak, dependant and fat”
I think a lot of people believe that nowadays, admitting it or not. Like “love” is some urban myth, like Santa Clause, the Easter bunny, or the tooth fairy. And to be quite honest, with all the lying, cheating, and divorces these days, it looks as though love, in fact, might not existent.
But its not some crazy myth, too many people have it, and not just the couples in movies. It exists in real life. I’ve seen it! I’ve witnessed it! We might have to play the game at first, to get the guy, but that’s just part of dating, or getting a date I should say.. But once we are together, as a couple, in a relationship, we shouldn’t have to keep playing “the games."
We should be able to fall head over heels in love with each other. Care, and LOVE each other, without being scared of looking too vulnerable. Have fun with one another. Be able to call your partner up just to say “hello.” Smile, just because, because “he” makes you happy. Please each other. Surprise one another. BE ROMANTIC. Just have fun.
No more of this, I care less, therefore, I’m winning. I wear the pants in the relationship. I am in control. Connor Mead later says in the movie:
“Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less…”
He’s right. Power does not equal happiness.
It’s scary to put yourself out there. You don’t want to look weak, pathetic, too clingy, or desperate but you have to, in order to find love. You have to take risks! That’s just a part of falling in love. And if you don’t you are taking the chance of being alone for the rest of your life, miserable.
That doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt. I’m sure there will be breakups; you will get your heart broken. It will cause you much pain.
“but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love. And from someone who’s felt a lot of both trust me, pain BEATS regret everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. Don’t run away. Don’t do it.” – Conor Mead, Ghost of Girlfriends Past
So take a risk. Fall in love. Find "the One," make your own "love story," live "Happily Ever After."