Sunday, December 20, 2009

Looking for One’s Prince

By Sharon W. Lee

It’s just a “thang”, but it’s just a bit gross
I’ve kissed enough frogs, and I’ve kissed enough toads!
How many frogs in this life must I kiss
Till I finally find the one disguised as my Prince?

I sat on a stump, and I cried today,
Thinking of all the things in my way.
It’s silly it seems, but I guess it’s true,
Looking for One’s Prince can sure make one blue!

I’m tired of all the frogs… and I’m tired of all the toads!
By the look on my face… I’m sure it shows!
I’m worn out and weary, and discouraged now too!
I’m sick of ALL the frogs! And I want something NEW!

So, Prince, If your out there, or disguised as a toad…
This hard little game is sure getting old!
I’ve been a good sport, and could it be true
That you are possibly tiring of this crazy game too?
I guess I’ll keep looking, I’ll continue the search,
I’ll have a good attitude, and look through the jerks.
I’m sure it’ll be worth it, when this comes to an end
And I’ll meet my Prince, my darling, my friend!


     What a great poem, huh? Its my absolute favorite. My wonderfully talented mother wrote that for a friend when she was having men problems! My mom is so great! and is truly my best friend! always has the best advice! and knows how to word it.. as you can tell..
     Well... 4:51am December 18th, changed my life forever. I got a phone call that I'll never forget. Weird that I went to bed perfectly happy and woke up with my world in pieces! and in that short 4 mins and 6 seconds I found myself lost and not knowing what to do. I was told my "perfect" boyfriend wasn't so perfect, that my amazing relationship,  that I thought would last forever, just ended. I gave him my heart to "handle with care," he robbed it of all my feelings and left it on the side of the road to rot. For some reason, I just sat there. For hours. Not crying. Just in utter shock. I called him 32947 times. He finally called me back. I told him it was over. He didn't act the way I had hoped. He didn't deny everything, and didn't comfort me. He got mad and hung up.
     He was my world, my everything. I gave him my whole heart. How could he do this? He texted me later denying everything but saying I was wrong cause I didn't trust my boyfriend, I didn't believe my boyfriend so maybe its good we broke up. .....Why do they always turn it around on us? Make us feel bad? I felt horrible maybe he was right and I should believe him. NO... if he didn't do it. If he really wanted us to work. If I meant to him what he means to me, he would've been right there, comforting me. He would've drove to my house, let me know everything was gonna be alright, that he loved me and he would never do something like that to me. BUT he didn't.. instead he hung up. He sent one text. 
      Now THAT SUCKS. 3 YEARS. We have been dating on and off for 3 years. and he let it all end in one phone call. I loved him so much. I cared for him. I was faithful to him. I never lied to him. I was always there for him. I cried with him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I saw both of us in my future. I wanted to marry him. I wanted to be in love with him forever. I wanted to be there in his hard times, to help him out. I wanted to be with him. But he preferred other things. I couldn't be "that girl," for him... that girl that changed his life. and I hate it so much. I am angry because I poured my heart out to him. I prayed every night for him. I prayed that he would change and come back, that things would be how they use to be.. when I was his everything. I always went back to him when I thought he changed. I cry because he couldn't love me the way I loved him. He was the best and most horrible thing that ever happened to me. I saw the good in him. I valued him. Does he not remember? I saw the good in him and could bring it out fully. I listened. I cared. I had so much faith in this and it blew up in my face.
     Sad part is I STILL LOVE you. I still see the good in you. I still care. I love you so much that I want you to be happy. I want you to find that girl that will change your life. Dustin I want you to love someone as much as I loved you. You need to love, its the most amazing feeling in the world. and yes it is love that has broken me. But there is no regret because the feeling I experienced was amazing. And I'm not going to give up. I know there is someone out there looking for me. Someone that is going to love me with a whole heart. Someone that is going to put me above everything else. Someone that won't cheat and won't lie. Someone that loves my goofy self. and truly loves me for ME!

     Dust you'll find that girl thats going to change you. You are going to LOVE her. Shes going to be your everything. Shes going to be the one you want to give the world to, and shes going to give you her world in return. and it sucks. Oh it sucks so bad that I can't be that girl. but like you always say "sounds like life to me." and this is life.
      We are going to go through all the toads and frogs. We are going to fall for them. Head over heels. Give them EVERYTHING. and they are going to give us nothing but a heartache in return. Its life. But we have to go through all that. We have to learn. We have to grow stronger so when our prince comes we will know it! We will know he is different! We got to experience the wrong so we will know the right, when it shows up.  Like they say.. What doesn't break you, will only make you stronger! and it will! I am going to be a stronger person. I am going to be smarter and more caution next time. I am going to pay attention to the signs and I'm not going to put up with the crap. I've learned a lot from him and I'm going to take it all with me.
    Yes right now, I'm broken. I turn to advice. I turn to sad break up quotes and old break up songs. But its my way of healing. It's good to see people have gone through the same thing and have survived. I am going to hurt. I'm going to remember the good times, because we had oh so many. He was my best friend. I'm gonna look at his facebook 27 times a day. I'm going to be hurt when he finds another pretty girl to be with but in the end.... I'll be okay! I'll move on. I'll find someone. I'll be okay...

Amanda Marshall - I'll Be Okay Lyrics

It's time to let you go
It's time to say goodbye
There's no more excuses
No more tears to cry
There's been so many changes
I was so confused
All along you were the one
All the time I never knew

I want you to be happy
You're my best friend
But it's so hard to let you go now
All that could have been
I'll always have the memories
She'll always have you
Fate has a way of changing
Just when you don't want it to


Throw away the chains
Let love fly away
Till love comes again
I'll be okay

Life passes so quickly
You gotta take the time
Or you'll miss what really matters
You'll miss all the signs
I've spent my life searching
For what was always there
Sometimes it will be too late
Sometimes it won't be fair


I won't give up
I won't give in
I can't recreate what just might have been
I know that my heart will find love again
Now is the time to begin

I can't hold on forever baby
I'll be okay

I don't know if  what I wrote even made sense... I just had a lot of feelings and blogged all of them. Just needed to get some stuff out. So if you didn't understand this blog, don't feel bad. I haven't even proof-read it to see if it made sense.. like I said. A blog=  a place to store all my thoughts. This blog is proof.


A Skin Bag for Jesus! said...

What can I say? I have been there. I so understand. I hate the hurt. Yet life is full of it. You definitely have a way with words. Your feelings can be felt in the description you painted. I'm sorry life is hard... and often, so is love!

I pray that God sends you someone that will treat you like his princess! A real prince! A real knight in shining armor! Seriously, they're few... but someone's out there waiting and looking and longing for you!

the girl with lots of thoughts said...

man, i sure hope so. he better be extremely cute because he sure is being lazy. he needs to hurry up and find me. im very impatient, and he'll soon find that out! :) love you.

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