Have you ever been in a relationship where one person cares about their partner more than the other? One person is madly in love, and the other one couldn't care less. A relationship where there is one, that would do anything for his/her partner, but their partner would do what they wanted, when they wanted, and didn't care if it hurt the other person.


Usually it’s the guy that distances himself from the girl (I should know). At first it’s all cute, flirty, passionate, gentle, adoring, starry-eyed, and romantic, but then all the sudden it’s like the guy puts up his shield and dodges cupids arrows. Then the girl is sitting there madly in love with the boy, being shot in the heart by every arrow, doing anything, and everything to get his attention and he’s more interested in anything and everything, but “her.”

What is it with relationships like this?

It’s "the game" and I HATE the stupid game. It disgusts me. You know which one I'm talking about, the one where you act like you don't like him, play hard to get, then he likes you, then you have to flirt a little, to let him know you're interested, but don't get too sweet cause then he'll know he’s in control, and you wouldn't want that.. and finally you are in a relationship with this guy but the game doesn't end here, oh noo honey, its only the beginning. Don't call him; let him call you, if you call him, especially more than once, your desperate. But why? You're in a relationship with this guy. Shouldn’t you be able to call him, and tell him you were thinking about him. Nope, again, desperate. And you would NEVER, tell him how you feel, because that would make you too vulnerable, an easy target. It’s just "the game" and you have to follow the rules accordingly or you'll end up heartbroken.

Ahhh I could scream! I absolutely despise this game. It’s like whoever cares less in the relationship has control over the relationship and over the other person. If you care more, then you are seen as the weak one? Tell me how this makes sense? If one person falls in love, and the other one acts like they don't care, then the one that’s in love loses the game? Gameover. Would you like to try again? and same sad story unfolds. What in the world?! So much torture.

And the game has gotten us all messed up, so now when we see a boy who wants nothing to do with us, we fall for him? We try so hard to get him to notice us, we want to be with him. We fall for “works in progress,” guys we think we can fix, dirtbags. But the guy that is sweet and charming, is just pathetic and we actually feel sorry for him? Wanting nothing more than a friendship.

Have you ever wondered why they are called "players?" Because they are "playing" the stupid "game." “Oh, don’t hate the player baby, hate the game.” Ahhhhhhhhh I hate the game, and I hate the player but why do I hate the player, I’m a player in this “game” too I’m just the one losing. Now, that makes me a sore loser.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this. So tonight, as I try my best to fall asleep, I decided to watch a movie. Well, originally I was going to watch P.S. I Love You (an all time favorite of mine), because I have had this odd obsession with Ireland and Irish boys but instead I chose Ghost of Girlfriends Past. This movie describes what I am feeling to a “T”.

Connor Mead (played by the ever so gorgeous, Matthew McConaughey), is a famous photographer, and is the biggest “player” ever. He doesn’t believe in love, and he makes that clear. As I’m watching right now he just stated:

 “Love is a magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end it leaves you weak, dependant and fat”

I think a lot of people believe that nowadays, admitting it or not. Like “love” is some urban myth, like Santa Clause, the Easter bunny, or the tooth fairy. And to be quite honest, with all the lying, cheating, and divorces these days, it looks as though love, in fact, might not existent.

But its not some crazy myth, too many people have it, and not just the couples in movies. It exists in real life. I’ve seen it! I’ve witnessed it! We might have to play the game at first, to get the guy, but that’s just part of dating, or getting a date I should say.. But once we are together, as a couple, in a relationship, we shouldn’t have to keep playing “the games."

We should be able to fall head over heels in love with each other. Care, and LOVE each other, without being scared of looking too vulnerable. Have fun with one another. Be able to call your partner up just to say “hello.” Smile, just because, because “he” makes you happy. Please each other. Surprise one another. BE ROMANTIC. Just have fun.

No more of this, I care less, therefore, I’m winning. I wear the pants in the relationship. I am in control. Connor Mead later says in the movie:

“Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less…”

He’s right. Power does not equal happiness.

It’s scary to put yourself out there. You don’t want to look weak, pathetic, too clingy, or desperate but you have to, in order to find love. You have to take risks! That’s just a part of falling in love. And if you don’t you are taking the chance of being alone for the rest of your life, miserable.

That doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt. I’m sure there will be breakups; you will get your heart broken. It will cause you much pain.

“but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love. And from someone who’s felt a lot of both trust me, pain BEATS regret everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. Don’t run away. Don’t do it.” – Conor Mead, Ghost of Girlfriends Past

So take a risk. Fall in love. Find "the One," make your own "love story," live "Happily Ever After."

I’m sure you have all seen the movie, or at least read the book He's Not That Into You,(if you haven’t you have to, NOW!!!) If every girl lived her life according to this book we would all find our Mr. Rights and our Prince Charming with little to no problems. But unfortunately girls, we don't.

      The movie starts out at a playground, a precious little girl is building a sandcastle and a boy starts walking her way. She gives a flirty smile, surprised the boy is approaching her. The boy then pushes her down, telling her she smells like dog poo, that she is so stupid, just like dog poo, and that she is made out of poo… She runs to her mom, tears streaming down her face, to tell what the little boy had done. And then... her mom says, "Awww, honey, do you know why that little boy did those things, and said those things," she smiles as her daughter shakes her head no, "It’s because he likes you!" The girl looks surprised, and confused, as the narrator says "And there it is... That’s the beginning of our problem." The mom tells her daughter "That little boy is doing those terrible things because he has a crush on you." "Do you know what this means, were all encouraged, no, programmed, to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk, that means he likes you." says the narrator.

      Then the movie shows a series of scenes of women, all over the world, giving excuses for guys... There is a scene of a girl telling her upset friend "Here's the problem, he likes you too much. You're too pretty and too awesome. He can't handle it." A girl waits by the phone while her friend comforts her saying "That Phi Delt obviously liked you, he must've just lost your number." After that, two coworkers discuss a man, one of the ladies tells the other "He’s not asking you out cause he is intimidated by your professional success." The next is a scene, where two Asian girls walk out of the mall as one explains to the other, "He's not asking you out because he's scared of your emotional maturity." Two middle aged women are taking a walk, one tells her workout buddy, "He's not asking you out because he just got out of a serious relationship." Followed by a scene of one military girl saying to the other "trust me it’s because he never had a serious relationship." The next is all the way in Africa, there are three women and one of the women tells the other "I'm sure he just forgot your hut number, or was eating by a lion," it comforts the girl and she smiles telling her friends how awesome they are.

      What is wrong with us? Why do we make all these excuses for guys across the world? Why can't we tell our friends... HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!! You all know what I'm talking about. We've all been there. Our friend is upset wondering why that wonderful guy she met last night hasn't called her, or why her boyfriend is ignoring her, or why Jack from 3rd period won't ask her out. We KNOW the answer. We KNOW why. For some reason, he does NOT like her. Wouldn't it be easier just to tell our friend, look he doesn't like you. at all. move on. Than to try to think of every explanation in the book, as to why he is not acting right.

      And it gets even worse with ourselves. I am guessing I am not the only one who has checked my phone a billion times to see if "he" called. Then you check to see if somehow your phone magically got turned on silent.. and then you the turn the volume on loud, oh wait, it already was. Then you think crap, I did give him the right number, right? I mean my number and my mom’s number are sort of the same they both start with 399 and you were so nervous talking to him, so that could be a possibility... ya know, that’s probably what happened. So you go ask mom… has anyone called you asking for me? Nope. Then you wait and you wait. He never calls. But he said he would? Look at how much time we just wasted, waiting. Waiting for a guy that never even liked us in the first place.

      Ya know, we just don't take rejection very well. We don't wanna believe that he just doesn't like us. And why would we want to make that guy, that doesn't like us already, like us? We don't need him. What.. we’re gonna force him to like us? He's just settling if he does. and honestly so are we. We need to stop.

      I am recently single. And you better believe that 1st guy that is 15 minutes late on a date, I’m out of there. The guy that says he’s gonna call Wednesday night but doesn’t until Friday, GOODBYE. The one that works his charm on me, then I see him later flirting with Betsy big boobs, Hasta La Vista, baby! Even if it was BRAD PITT that cheats on me, TaTa!! Nice knowing ya, buddy! (okay, maybe not if it was Brad Pitt, I’d probably let it slip, but you get my drift.)

      Girls, we are so much better than that! We have let guys push around for years! And we are letting them get away with it. We are giving them our heart and saying “Be careful with it, its fragile.” Then we watch them stomp on it, rip it to pieces, light it on fire, then pee on it to put it out, then we pick it up and hand it right back to them! And I’m not just preaching to ya’ll, I’ve done it too! Multiple times! Don’t we know we deserve better?

      I think if we all agree that we will stop putting up with all the crap, we won’t let these jerks get to us, even if he has baby blue eyes, and washboard abs, that we could really start something new, where we as women were actually valued by men. Maybe then we could all stop playing “the game,” and just fall head over heels for a guy and he do the same for us!

      And ALWAYS remember. Don’t make excuses. They aren’t into you. And you’re better than that! So don’t even think twice about him. On to the next, maybe the next one will be The One?!